It's a strange feeling. It makes you uncomfortable in your office seat when that long lost ex-boyfriend of yours suddenly pops up on your chat screen to say hi. You steal a furtive glance over your shoulder to see if that always-interested-in-gossip colleague is around.
And then…you reply to that message.
"Come on! It's just a simple hi," you tell yourself as your fingers instinctively start tapping on the keyboard.
"Hi"
"So what are u up 2 these days?"
"Nothin. You tell me"
The conversation goes on. Every time your finger tries hitting the log-off button, somebody pulls you back. You don't talk after a while. But you do after a while.
Secretly keeping in touch with your ex is something that some people just can't resist. No matter, whether or not they have parted ways on good terms.
"Me and my ex had parted ways on good terms. Things worsened when I started seeing another guy. He just couldn't take that. We had a very bitter fight before finally we called it off. That was about a year back. Two months back, I got engaged to a guy," says 24-year old ‘N’, who's into media sales.
But ‘N’ wasn't prepared for what happened next. Two months ago, she found herself talking to her ex once again.
"Yes we are in touch. He calls once in a while to ask me how I am. I know if I need him he will always be there for me. Of course, I have not told this to my would-be husband," ‘N’ adds.
Twenty six-year-old ‘I’ doesn't mind chatting with her boyfriend "once in a while".
"He is in the US and he won't be able to disrupt my relationship with my boyfriend. My boyfriend does get upset when I tell him that I had an hour-long chat with my ex. But I don't mind it. I cannot deny the fact that we shared a meaningful relationship and I guess a part of me will always love him," ‘I’ says.
Guys are more secretive about keeping in touch with his ex. Most men, given a chance, will always like keeping in touch with his ex. A section of women on the other hand, will never give their ex a chance.
More so, if they have parted ways on a bad note.
"Men are multi-directional by nature. They can fall in love with more than one woman at the same time. So keeping in touch with their ex will be an instinctive thing for them. Women will at least think twice before renewing ties with their ex or at least they will come clean in front of their boyfriends or husbands."
Some men who still choose to keep in touch with their ex, can't help but agree.
"I know my wife will never be able to take it if I tell her that I am touch with my ex. So to keep things quiet at home I have never told her that we are in touch. After all, we are not having an affair," says ‘P’, an accountant.
"We are not having an affair," this is how you justify it to yourself. The truth is, keeping in touch with your ex is something that you can do without.
Then why?
Well, it's a question with too many answers.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Just as nice
There’s a queer, familiar smell of every city in India. Be it Mumbai, Delhi or a Kolkata— the familiar smell waits to greet you as you get out of the plane. This might sound a little perverse but I have developed a strange habit of smelling each city. All this was fine till one day.
It was the day when I stepped out of a Royal Druk Airlines flight into Paro. As I started walking on the airport tarmac, I instinctively took a deep breadth.
Nothing but fresh air.
“Can’t be,” I muttered under my breadth.
I stood there. Still. And took a deep breadth again.
Nothing but thin air.
I realized that I had only been touring India. And hitherto, my foreign travel itinerary had only taken me to Dubai and Dhaka. Bhutan was different. The city doesn’t smell at all!
Back then (well, that was about six months back) only the Royal Druk Airlines used to connect Bhutan and Kolkata. There are of course other modes of travel like taking your car till Phuntsholling through north Bengal but taking a plane to Paro is the most comfortable and abrupt way to reach the country. I am deliberately using the word ‘abrupt’ because you require at least half an hour to adjust to a no air-pollution zone. For my part, I dozed off.
I can’t call that a sleep of course. The early morning flight and the drinking session with my friends the previous night had taken its toll. As I struggled to keep my eyes open, the Maruti Omni taxi took me off for Thimphu from Paro airport. It was a partly smooth, partly bumpy two-hour ride through a meandering road cutting through hills. I remember opening my eyes for some lovely views from the top. But that was the most peaceful sleep I had after years. It all seemed like a dream.
The journey cost me just Rs 600 and a realization. In Bhutan, the taxis are all Maruti Omnis. It seemed strange at first but my ever-smiling-ever-shy driver told me that is the most pocket-friendly vehicle in the country. The taxis were clean like the country and all of them had a music system fitted in the cabin. Some even treasured a Phil Collins or a John Denver album. They listen to these songs apart from the indigenous Bhutani albums that are churned out regularly from the local artistes.
My tryst with Thimphu was interesting. I drank and sang along the Bhutanese men in a make-shift garage-turned-pub where they were signing along a Spice Girls number. The song was not important, drinking and having fun was more important. The average Bhutanese men, I found, drank and made merry every night. The good part about Thimphu is that it is such a small town that every man knows about the other man. They will even tell you the gossip like that man living on the other end of the town is a next door neighbour. After all, the other end of the town is just a two-hour walk!
Paro is a sleepy hamlet. You can cover the entire town on foot in two hours flat. Me and my partner decided to stay at a cottage perched on a hilltop. As I looked out from my verandah, Paro looked like a dream, partly covered under a speck of white cloud and partly sunny. Believe me or not, you can cover the whole city on foot just in an hour!
The shops in the Paro are hardly open till eight. That’s like late-night for the sleepy hamlet. My partner could manage a huge Bhutani mask carved out of a single wood for Rs 900. The shopkeepers, a Bhutani middle-aged women was not interested to sell it to me. None of them are for that matter. They never bargain with you or push their product. You offer a price. If they like it they give it to you and if they don’t like it, they just shake their head from side to side in negation. Paro was like a little advanced hilly village full of colourful people in their traditional costumes. Trust me, everybody wears them. The men can be seen handsomely trotting wearing the ‘gho’ which is a ankle-length Scottish kilt and the women will wear a ‘Kira’ which is, in some ways, an improved version of a kimono.
The women slogged all day and except for driving trucks, they can be seen doing everything. They are even there to be bellboys in hotels and lift your heavy suitcase with ease with one hand. Talking about women, they are really beautiful and smart! Whatever you ask them, they greet you with a smile which, in most of the times, used to be the answer. Never mind the question!
Liquor in Thimphu was cheap and the traditional food was not that good for an average Indian palate which is more used spice and chilly. I remember the red rice and a shredded beef that tasted really good with their traditional local liquor made out of rice bran. You get lots of good beef, good mutton and chicken. It will be tough for you there if you are vegetarian. But you will manage, trust me.
If you want planning a proper “tour” then please don’t go to Bhutan. Bhutan will get you whatever you miss in Bombay—proper sleep, lots of leisure, a noiseless evening and…a dead cellphone.
It was the day when I stepped out of a Royal Druk Airlines flight into Paro. As I started walking on the airport tarmac, I instinctively took a deep breadth.
Nothing but fresh air.
“Can’t be,” I muttered under my breadth.
I stood there. Still. And took a deep breadth again.
Nothing but thin air.
I realized that I had only been touring India. And hitherto, my foreign travel itinerary had only taken me to Dubai and Dhaka. Bhutan was different. The city doesn’t smell at all!
Back then (well, that was about six months back) only the Royal Druk Airlines used to connect Bhutan and Kolkata. There are of course other modes of travel like taking your car till Phuntsholling through north Bengal but taking a plane to Paro is the most comfortable and abrupt way to reach the country. I am deliberately using the word ‘abrupt’ because you require at least half an hour to adjust to a no air-pollution zone. For my part, I dozed off.
I can’t call that a sleep of course. The early morning flight and the drinking session with my friends the previous night had taken its toll. As I struggled to keep my eyes open, the Maruti Omni taxi took me off for Thimphu from Paro airport. It was a partly smooth, partly bumpy two-hour ride through a meandering road cutting through hills. I remember opening my eyes for some lovely views from the top. But that was the most peaceful sleep I had after years. It all seemed like a dream.
The journey cost me just Rs 600 and a realization. In Bhutan, the taxis are all Maruti Omnis. It seemed strange at first but my ever-smiling-ever-shy driver told me that is the most pocket-friendly vehicle in the country. The taxis were clean like the country and all of them had a music system fitted in the cabin. Some even treasured a Phil Collins or a John Denver album. They listen to these songs apart from the indigenous Bhutani albums that are churned out regularly from the local artistes.
My tryst with Thimphu was interesting. I drank and sang along the Bhutanese men in a make-shift garage-turned-pub where they were signing along a Spice Girls number. The song was not important, drinking and having fun was more important. The average Bhutanese men, I found, drank and made merry every night. The good part about Thimphu is that it is such a small town that every man knows about the other man. They will even tell you the gossip like that man living on the other end of the town is a next door neighbour. After all, the other end of the town is just a two-hour walk!
Paro is a sleepy hamlet. You can cover the entire town on foot in two hours flat. Me and my partner decided to stay at a cottage perched on a hilltop. As I looked out from my verandah, Paro looked like a dream, partly covered under a speck of white cloud and partly sunny. Believe me or not, you can cover the whole city on foot just in an hour!
The shops in the Paro are hardly open till eight. That’s like late-night for the sleepy hamlet. My partner could manage a huge Bhutani mask carved out of a single wood for Rs 900. The shopkeepers, a Bhutani middle-aged women was not interested to sell it to me. None of them are for that matter. They never bargain with you or push their product. You offer a price. If they like it they give it to you and if they don’t like it, they just shake their head from side to side in negation. Paro was like a little advanced hilly village full of colourful people in their traditional costumes. Trust me, everybody wears them. The men can be seen handsomely trotting wearing the ‘gho’ which is a ankle-length Scottish kilt and the women will wear a ‘Kira’ which is, in some ways, an improved version of a kimono.
The women slogged all day and except for driving trucks, they can be seen doing everything. They are even there to be bellboys in hotels and lift your heavy suitcase with ease with one hand. Talking about women, they are really beautiful and smart! Whatever you ask them, they greet you with a smile which, in most of the times, used to be the answer. Never mind the question!
Liquor in Thimphu was cheap and the traditional food was not that good for an average Indian palate which is more used spice and chilly. I remember the red rice and a shredded beef that tasted really good with their traditional local liquor made out of rice bran. You get lots of good beef, good mutton and chicken. It will be tough for you there if you are vegetarian. But you will manage, trust me.
If you want planning a proper “tour” then please don’t go to Bhutan. Bhutan will get you whatever you miss in Bombay—proper sleep, lots of leisure, a noiseless evening and…a dead cellphone.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)